Monday, August 4, 2014

When you learn to be Humble....

July 21, 2014
Well this week has been quite a week! I am not even sure where to begin.
It was insanely hot this week. It got into the 90's with a lot of humidity. Everything felt sticky and oh it was awful!! Also, there is no air conditioning in this country so we were sweating like pigs...not my favorite thing. Thankfully, it has cooled down again!
Not a ton of things happened this week, it was just in general a good week! Although, I did learn a lot about humility and submitting your will to the Lord. At the beginning of this week, I didn't have a very good attitude about things that were happening and I was not really enjoying the work. I was getting easily irritated and it wasn't good. I decided to begin to pray to be humble. I knew that I needed to put aside what I wanted and focus on the work.
For the past little while I have been wanting to find someone and see them baptized. Almost to be able to say that I was good enough to find someone that was baptized. That is never the reason why you should want to find someone. Also, most of the people that end up getting baptized are people that we never find ourselves but people the Lord gives us. So I was thinking about all of this and it was frustrating me. I wasn't desiring what was good for the people here. I was thinking about how it would bless me. Last night, we found out that our most solid investigator that came to church every week...had dropped us. He said he didn't want to become a Mormon anymore. I was devastated. I have been working with him since I got here and he was so solid. He knew the church was true and wanted to be baptized. I was excited for him and loved him. I became very upset and somewhat angry. Why did this happen? How could this be a part of the plan? I know the Lord has a plan but why would this be? I realized though that I needed this to be humbled. I needed to realize that this investigator wasn't mine but the Lord's. He is a Son of God and the Lord has a plan. I need to trust in his plan and trust that he knows what is best. I don't know what is going to happen with this investigator. We are going to try and go by and find out what happened. But I know now, that it doesn't matter what I want. It doesn't matter if I want to find someone. What matters is if the Lord has that in mind. I am realizing more and more that I am not in charge of this work and I need to turn my work over to the Lord. Too much of the time, I want to do it all by myself. I need to be humble and allow the Lord to work through me. I need to give my will to him!
I love this work. It is hard, discouraging, humbling, exciting, invigorating, and fulfilling. I am learning and growing with every day!!
Zuster Adams

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